I am currently reading The Almost Moon which is written by my favorite author ever. I've heard that this isn't one of her best, but I am going to have to judge that for myself. I loved how it started; it is in first person of a 40 some year old woman and she is saying to herself, "When all is said and done, killing my mother came easily." It instantly drew me in.


I received so many great books for Christmas, including
..I want to read every Stephen King book ever written. It's a goal of mine. But I also want to start reading the The True Blood Series by Charlaine Harris (which is where the show came from). But sadly Alex couldn't find any of them to get me for Christmas :( ..I need to go get them when I have more money. Butttttttt...I am so ADD and always find myself watching such pointless things on T.V when I could be enjoying a good read..........

Which reminds me that I just got Weeds Season 1-5 in the mail. So I know I'm gonna be spending a lot of time watching that as well. I need to get all this shit done, before I go back to work and have NOOO time for any of it..



Now I am going to go enjoy my banana nut muffin, and perhaps play some gin rummy. Who knows when I will write again. Sometime in the near future, perhaps.

The Act of Perceiving

How do I decipher the reality in my life from my imagination? Isn't it all just perception anyway? Who's to say what is reality and what isn't? It makes me go insane when I think about it. Reality to me isn't reality to everyone else. What is real?! Can someone please help me? I'm crawling in my skin. Is the grass really green? Do birds really chirp? Are tears really salty on your cheek? Is water really tasteless? ..or the bigger what ifs: Does my boyfriend really love me? How many of my friends are true? Are there life forms somewhere else in the Universe? Is death on Earth the end or the beginning? Anything can happen at any split second that could change everything you know about the world around you. Maybe we aren't supposed to know the truths. Maybe it is just simply too much to handle. Who knows? All I know is that it is a concept so intricate, that even the smartest human being on Earth could never possibly figure it out.

New to this

I've never done something like this before. But I'm thinking maybe it will help me clear my head a bit better. My life is so hectic. Teenagers are so naive thinking that things are going to be all rainbows and unicorns when they turn 18. There are bills to pay, groceries to buy and responsibilities to be met without question. Sure it's nice to be away from my psycho grandmother, but owing more money in bills than you make in a month is not that fucking fun. It sucks. I've always had bad anxiety, and this shoots it through the roof. I am just thankful I have the greatest boyfriend someone could ask for. He has his issues but he is one of the most mature 19 years old out there, I'm sure. Oh, and another good thing in my life is my 3 kittens..which is stupid I know, because I have severe asthma and allergies to cats. But I'm growing immune! I just love having them in my life. The only pet I ever had was a cat Jynx, who my doctor made me give up when I was four because of my asthma and allergies. It broke my fucking heart. But yeah, I know no one is probably going to read this. It's me just rambling on... with horrible English/Grammar skills worked in haha. I don't know..I'm just gonna try this blogging thing for a little bit to see how it makes me feel. But I need to try and get some sleep I guess...goodnight.